A New LO....Scrap Therapy

I did this LO for a few reasons. First of all, I have had a rough "week" at a certain unnamed MB. Some of you know because you are also members. And if you do NOT know-trust me it's just not worth the time to make me upset again so I can explain it. I sent a message to a friend who asked me how I was...I wanted to just do the "fine" thing but decided that she's my friend and maybe she REALLY cared and wanted to know. So I told her exactly what it was I was feeling. This is what I told her (and this IS edited out for privacy's sake):

Because both __________ said something to me in their PM's to the effect of "it being up to ME for this to go away". I tried ignoring the stuff THIS week and I apologized for February's stuff. I was told in one breath that __ doesn't censor but basically asked to censor my siggy line for the "greater good" and I did because that is what I wanted too (for it ALL to go away). So I kind of feel like in this my dignity was lost at least in my MIND. Others are pming me and applauding my brave-ness (is that a word?) and I thank them and wonder what the heck they are talking about. I feel like a coward for backing down. I feel badly for making _______ hurt. I feel badly for causing my friends stress. I feel badly that people like SHE WHO IS NOT TO BE NAMED (Abby it's NOT the person YOU know but one has to wonder if they aren't RELATED) got the whole board in a tizzy fit. And *I* want to be an ostrich. I am allowed at the next DT meeting but am I really welcome, I wonder?? I feel defeated, exhausted, a little angry because I CRIED (for crying out loud I CRIED...I don't like to cry), a little irritated and a whole lot wanting to NOT be the Christian I am and CURSE the SHE out. But I won't...because it's not WHO I am and it's not where I want to be and because I am not going to stoop to her level. I just have the whole gamut of emotions running around here. SHEESH...are you sorry you asked????

Her response was to tell me usual mantra-take a deep breath...and then she gave me TWO challenges. One I did right away and can't be shared (don't ask why, it just CANNOT) and the other was to do a LO on my emotions that I am wrestling with. I growled under my breath at that but begrudgingly did it anyway. I kept thinking "this is going to make me feel WORSE not BETTER for crying out loud." It took me all afternoon to get it done as I worked through emotions but I did it. And ahem it helped (SSSHHHH don't tell my friend-LOL).

The second reason wasn't so draining. I post a Scraplift Challenge at the above mentioned board every few days. This was my take. As usual for me, it doesn't look a whole lot like the one I scraplifted but this time it isn't UNLIKE it either.

Here's my hidden journaling:

Tag in the middle along the left edge:

Something has happened in my life that has left me with some strong emotions to sort through. I feel really overwhelmed by them and a friend sent me on this scrap therapy mission. This has been a hard LO for me to complete but tells a story-mine. I am a real person with real feelings and real thoughts. I am frustrated at events on a certain message board-frustrated at being held to blame for other people's actions and then being held responsible for fixing them. I CANNOT

Tag tucked behind photo-

Anger-yes I am angry. I am angry that some people can't see two sides to every situation. I am angry with ME for being angry. I am angry that I let someone anger me.

Bottom tag-Sadness this is a big one at this time! I am sad that so many people that I love and respect have been hurt. I am sad that things had to turn so ugly in a "place" I so dearly treasure. I am sad that I played a part in it.

Top tag-

Betrayal-My husband and I had a talk and he says that betrayal isn't an emotion. but since I FEEL betrayed I say it is and that is has left me empty with a whole lot of pain. I feel that people I consider friends have hurt me, have done so in the most hurtful manner.