I am feeling a little bit sorry for myself. I hate feeling like this. HATE IT. But…I just lost a ton of photos that I can’t get back. I lost a ton of memorabilia I can’t get back, including very detailed baby books of my children with love letters written to them. I don’t remember when Tyler rolled from back to front…that was what the baby book was for. And then….
There’s the ultra sound photos of Christy. I think I shared them on this blog somewhere. I hope so. Because it’s all I have left of her. I never got to hold my daughter….the ultra sound photos are what I had. And they are GONE too. I didn’t realize this until two days later…and broke down in tears. It was the first real gut-wrenching sobbing I had done since that fire. I don’t think it was cleansing. I don’t think it was helpful. I still feel miserable about the whole ordeal.
I’m not strong. I have had several of you email me privately and tell me how strong I am in this situation. You are wrong. I just refuse to fall apart.
Thank you Lord Jesus for being the Rock, for carrying me when I can’t walk on my own two feet. Thank you Lord for my family’s health. Thank you Lord for all You have done for us. I ask, Lord, that you would give me the strength to get through this move and the legal claim we have to prepare in a few days. I pray Lord, that the insurance company will pay for our things quickly so that we are able to replace what is necessary. Thank you Lord for loving me so much that You sent Your own Son to die a painful, horrific death on the cross. I need You Lord.
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6 comments:
you DID share Christy's US pics here. i remember seeing them. you know that there are also sites set up out there that can convert your blog into a printed hardcover bound book? that may be cheaper than what i was suggesting before about printing all your scrap layouts on something like snapfish and having them bound through their services. but just a thought. it doesnt change the fact that the tangibles are gone... but there ARE a lot of digitals now because you uploaded so much to the internet to share. its not everything.... but its a start.
and you ARE strong.
let me know when you are pcsing.
(((((HUGS)))))
Oh Tara, I'm just now seeing all that happened due to a computer/blogging break. I'm literally sick.
Words fail me. (((hugs))) and major prayers heading your way.
Under "scrapbooking" on your blog, find the entry for May 2007 that is showing the LO "Surviving and Thriving" Just a reminder.
Oh Tara... I just got back into town from vacationing with our other army friends to find your blog. I'm so sorry.... No words can covey my feelings and I'm sure you are feeling the same. I will keep you all in my prayers for strength, courage to endure and get through this and hope that others can share in being able to help "recreate" your photos some how.
May he continue to hold you close and walk with you, and hold you up with your own legs fail you. God bless you all.
Lissa
We have no words that are appropriate - that would help right now, but we are praying for your family.I love you, my dear sister!
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